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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22821190">Special Delivery</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Arnold/Coupons (crack ship) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Epithet Erased (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Arnold and Bugsy actually touch each other this time???, Bugsy jerks Arnold off with coupons in his hand, Husbands!!, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, NSFW, Porn, crack ship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:14:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,847</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22821190</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Arnold comes home from a stressful day at work and Bugsy decides its time to give his hardworking husband a treat.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Arnold Markdown/Bugsy Pugsler, Arnold Markdown/Coupons</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Arnold/Coupons (crack ship) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1570879</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Special Delivery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’ve been writing this for ages and I apologise for having a long-ass break.<br/>Also, T&amp;B 2 part 2 is coming in a bit, don’t worry, we working on it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arnold had just come in from a hard day of paperwork, paperwork and <i>even more</i> paperwork.</p><p>Bugsy hadn’t been working that day, that was the whole reason he was holding Arnold like a little baby and making the mentally exhausted man smile and giggle.</p><p>Arnold loved that; coming home, cuddling with his husband and having a nice soft moment on the couch.</p><p>He also loved wrapping his arms around Bugsy and giving him soft kisses. Little moments like that made both men feel so soft, quite unlike their usual bastard act.</p><p>It was comforting to be able to live a different life at home, to act like what they did as Vice Principals meant nothing in their personal life.</p><p>They sat together for a short while, kissing each other and petting each other’s hair with only other sound besides them being the faint humming of the boiler.</p><p>The two eventually got bored and decided to go to their room.</p><p>Bugsy helped Arnold take the majority of his clothes off and—after a bit of caressing each other’s bodies—got him changed into his favourite black, silk pyjamas.</p><p>The bigger man also got changed since he thought he should get comfortable as well, changing into a tank top and pyjama bottoms that Arnold got for him when they were on holiday.</p><p>They laid in bed together, cuddling and chatting to each other. One topic came up as they were having their little chat.</p><p>“Your coupons came in the mail today,”</p><p>“They can wait until later...”</p><p>“You wouldn’t mind if I did something to them, would you?”</p><p>And that made Arnold sit up quicker than anything, asking in a panic;</p><p>“What did you do?”</p><p>“Relax, sweetheart, I didn’t burn them or throw them out or do anything to decrease their value!”</p><p>“You didn’t answer my question, what did you do?”</p><p>Arnold hovered over him, panic taking over.</p><p>Bugsy sat up and hushed him softly, kissing his cheek and taking a hold of his hand.</p><p>“I just decided to help you out a little, cutting some of them out and sorting them into ‘real’ and ‘fake’ piles-,”</p><p>“Where are they?”</p><p>Bugsy chuckled softly. Arnold was always really protective over his coupons, and it was quite obvious why.</p><p>He always got a special shipment, they weren’t regular, store coupons, they were ones he could use in battle. He was always exited to go through them, cut them out of the booklets they came in and sort them into ‘real’ and ‘fake’ piles.</p><p>Although, sometimes, there’d be one or two magazines of actual store coupons, as a thanks from the distributor.</p><p>Bugsy reached down the side of the bed and brought the two separate—and wrapped with a label on both stating which pile was which—piles onto the bed.</p><p>“Look through as many as you like, I’m ninety nine point nine percent sure I sorted every single one of them into the right pile!”</p><p>Arnold tore open the packet of fake ones began looking through them, scanning through them quickly.</p><p>“Bugsy... I’m not even halfway through them yet and so far you’ve not had a single real one in this fake pile! I’m so proud of you!”</p><p>“That’s what hours of watching you sort through your coupons and cleaning up after you when you get a bit <i>rough</i> with them does!”</p><p>“Yeah, okay, I get it, I’m horny for fake coupons, laugh all you want,”</p><p>Arnold scoffed and rolled his eyes, raising a brow and looking up at Bugsy as he cleared his throat.</p><p>“Don’t think I didn’t make the connection, I do look at what ones you used and a lot of them are <i>food</i> related ones,”</p><p>Bugsy chuckled and winked, watching Arnold’s face darken as he realised that Bugsy knew for a fact that he’d been correlating the fake food coupons with Bugsy.</p><p>“Yet every time you’re planning on fucking your fake food coupons you say you don’t want to fuck? Those coupons and I are the same to you, aren’t they?”</p><p>“Perhaps... Perhaps you are!”</p><p>Arnold huffed out as he crossed his arms. He couldn’t let Bugsy know he was gay for him. Wait, they’re married.</p><p>“Yeah? And would you rather fuck the real thing or an inanimate object?”</p><p>“Perhaps... Perhaps... Both!”</p><p>Arnold squeaked out as he was pulled into his man’s tight grasp.</p><p>“You sure~?”</p><p>The coupon man quickly put two and two together, smirking and tilting his head back to look up at Bugsy.</p><p>“You <i>really</i> want to get involved in my coupon masturbation session~?”</p><p>“Of course I do! I don’t want to have to keep watching you do it all alone!”</p><p>Arnold sighed and nodded.</p><p>“Okay, fine, but <i>you’re</i> jerking me off!”</p><p>“Fine by me,”</p><p>Bugsy chuckled and kissed Arnold’s neck gently, gently sliding his hand down his partner’s body, feeling him shudder at the touch.</p><p>He rested his hand on Arnold’s inner thigh, squeezing it gently. He kept kissing at his neck, hearing soft moans escape the twink.</p><p>Arnold was most definitely horny for his man’s big, strong hands squishing him. He shuffled back, trying to get closer to Bugsy.</p><p>Bugsy hummed and moved his hand up to cup Arnold’s dick. He was barely holding it but he could feel how hard Arnold was already.</p><p>He also went back to kissing his neck, beginning to suck at it gently.</p><p>And you can <i>bet</i> Arnold felt a lot gayer than he did beforehand. He spread his legs just enough to have Bugsy’s entire hand on his dick.</p><p>The bigger man’s other hand found itself unbuttoning Arnold’s pyjama top.</p><p>“We just dressed each other and you’re already wanting to go bare? Someone’s desperate~...”</p><p>“Of course I do! The quicker we get the foreplay over and done with, the quicker you can get off to your fake food coupons,”</p><p>He managed to unbutton and fully open up Arnold’s pyjama top, gently caressing his chest and running his fingers over his nipples gently.</p><p>Arnold squirmed in place, feeling a bit of stimulation from, not only the nipple play, but from Bugsy ever so slightly thumbing at the head of Arnold’s cock.</p><p>The two sat there for a moment, Arnold soaking up the friction, and Bugsy soaking up Arnold’s little noises as he toyed with him.</p><p>Bugsy leaned forward and roughly grabbed a handful of fake coupons, hearing Arnold gasp loudly. It wasn’t a sexual one, that was obvious by how dramatic it was.</p><p>“How <i>dare</i> you <i>manhandle</i> my <i>precious</i> coupons!”</p><p>He felt Arnold prying his hand open, snatching as many coupons as he could, which was almost all of them.</p><p>The twink quickly started to flatten each coupon out individually</p><p>“You should know that, even if they’re fake, you must take care of th-!”</p><p>Arnold was very quickly shut up by Bugsy’s hand slipping under the waistband of his pyjama bottoms and grabbing his dick as roughly as he grabbed the coupons.</p><p>“Shut up, you whiny, little bitch,”</p><p>Bugsy began to jerk him off slowly, listening to his shaky moans. Bugsy felt Arnold’s hand, specifically the hand he clutched the coupons in, touch his, specifically the one he was touching his dick with.</p><p>Bugsy took the coupons off of his submissive man and grasped them tightly around his husband’s cock.</p><p>Arnold was fucking loving it, shuddering in delight. Was Bugsy truly experiencing how horny Arnold was for pieces of paper? Yes, he was.</p><p>He watched as Arnold shuffled again, it was a lot weaker though, it was obvious he was a hundred percent gay and couldn’t function.</p><p>Arnold felt himself gripping onto the arm that was still gently playing with his nipples, panting gently and trying to press himself as close to his lover as possible.</p><p>“Look at you, you little fool, you’re an absolute mess! But guess what? You’re <i>my</i> little fool, <i>my</i> mess, and <i>I’m</i> the one who gets to clean you up at the end of the day~...”</p><p>Bugsy whispered into his man’s ear as he gradually sped up after pulling the lump of gay up a bit.</p><p>Arnold certainly adored that little speech as he’d struggled to lean back and kiss whatever part of Bugsy was the closest, which was his chin. Close enough.</p><p>The bigger man chuckled and gripped his cock tighter, forcing a loud, shaky moan out of the twink.</p><p>He began to jerk Arnold off faster, wanting to stimulate him a lot more.</p><p>It indeed worked as he’d held onto Bugsy’s arm tighter and whined, even bucking his hips, trying to feel more movement from the coupons.</p><p>This was how he got paper cuts on his dick; by being too rough.</p><p>After a few minutes of fast, rough masturbation, Arnold was ready to spill his load, and Bugsy knew that because of how quiet he’d gotten and his heart that was beating rapidly. He could feel it beating around in his tiny little body.</p><p>Bugsy let go of Arnold’s cock all of a sudden, making him whimper and moan softly in pain.</p><p>“Get your fucking hand back on my dick, moron...”</p><p>“What was that? Are you wanting me to leave you alone to finish off all by yourself~?”</p><p>Bugsy hummed and scrunched up the coupons in his hand.</p><p>“Bugsy... I swear to fucking god, I’m so clo-!”</p><p>He gasped as Bugsy pinched the head of his cock gently. It was enough to shut him up but not enough to send him on that raging orgasm that he wanted so desperately.</p><p>“Speak up, Arnold, I can’t hear you~...”</p><p>Arnold was so, so incredibly desperate at this point, and if Bugsy left him, he was sure he wouldn’t be able to move an inch.</p><p>“Please, Bugs, give me what I fucking want...”</p><p>“That’s not what I was looking for, dear~!”</p><p>Arnold whined loudly as Bugsy let go of his cock and moved to get up.</p><p>“Okay-! Okay! <i>Please</i>, Bugs, fucking finish me off, I’m so <i>needy</i>, I can’t do this without you...!”</p><p>His voice was hoarse and he was honestly on the verge of tears, already so overstimulated.</p><p>“That’s what I thought you meant, sweetheart~...”</p><p>Bugsy chuckled and sat back in his place, kissing Arnold’s cheek.</p><p>“Let’s ‘give you what you fucking want’~...”</p><p>He leaned forward and flattened out the coupons again in a rush, wrapping his hand firmly around Arnold’s dick again.</p><p>It was obvious he was about to burst, his sick couldn’t be touched without him flinching, as he’d just done the second Bugsy grabbed it again.</p><p>Arnold orgasmed just a few seconds after Bugsy began jerking him off again, moaning out loudly and writhing around to try and curl up—which Bugsy wasn’t having.</p><p>He rode it out, Bugsy continuing to jerk him off and over stimulating him further.</p><p>As soon as Arnold told Bugsy to stop fucking around and to stop touching him, the two relaxed. Bugsy laid back and Arnold lay back on top of him.</p><p>After a stressful day at work, Arnold was back home, in the arms of his husband. It was comforting to be back in a place that was safe from all their worries.</p>
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